If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
