you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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