Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize