I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
