Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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