It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
