i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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