i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
