they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
