i need an iv and a liver transplant
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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