Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
