my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
