I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize