seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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