How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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