do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think my nap took me to another dimension
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
