my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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