Jerry, you need to find god
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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