oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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