Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
