if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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