got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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