talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
