Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Pants are for mortals
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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