She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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