I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize