I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
