Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize