Well douche your snatch and let's go!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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