I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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