Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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