Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
