# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize