we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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