U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
