i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize