i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
