Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wear drunk well.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
