I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
