So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize