I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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