the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Moan for me like Helen Keller
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
