i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
