I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
