Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
