If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
