i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
