i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I party with great urgency now.
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