I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize