honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
