I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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