Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
