You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
