She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i came on her dog
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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