Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
