Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You ate ashes out of my bong
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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