when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize