Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
