They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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