And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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