I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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