WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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