Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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